1. |
Deadzone
04:24
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The fucking worms
Up from the soil, they breathe the air
Deadening the atmosphere
As they watch the entire world burn
This is nothing new
Understanding our place
Microscopic, insignificant
A race to a red light, a finish line
The fire set by us, with nothing left behind
This Calculated
Perpetuated
Endless cycle
Of hatred
No order, just chaos
Found beneath
The collapsing sky
It’s easy to understand where you are
When the thing that happens
Calls to question your own morality
It’s easy to understand where you are
In your thought process
I don’t have to stand for this
I don’t have to stand for this
The challenge in understanding
What loss means to one is not for all
The challenge in understanding
What matters most is not the same for all
As we break down these walls
As we break down these walls
Do we run home or charge forth
Leaving the Earth to smolder
Nothing but ashes left behind
With millions of choices that could’ve changed
Everything that lead to this moment
We drove this war machine
Without a map, taking directions
From the enemy
Was the pain worth it
Was it worth it
Was the pain worth it
Was it worth it
The fucking worms
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2. |
Self Collapse
03:55
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So we meet again
The devil on my shoulder
Won’t let me live in peace
Everything I peer into is a looking glass
A broken mirror
Hundreds of faces staring back
And judging me
And judging me
Staring inward and searching for purpose
Was I ever meant to be this way
But what good is a callused grasp
On ever shifting sands
As the hourglass turns downward
And time is running out
No chance to catch my breath
As I’m swallowed whole
The darkness surrounds me
And my lungs collapse
(And I can’t breathe)
The darkness surrounds me
And my vision fades
(And I can’t see)
Climbing up through the abyss
I face my past and future self
Nothing but hatred fills these veins
I’ve worked too fucking hard
To let this spiral out of control
Out of control
Falling inward towards self destruction
The blood like needles underneath my skin
What good is a callused grasp
On ever shifting sands
As the hourglass turns downward
And time is running out
No chance to catch my breath
As I’m swallowed whole
The darkness surrounds me
And my lungs collapse
(And I can’t breathe)
The darkness surrounds me
And my vision fades
(And I can’t see)
Oh, look what I’ve done
Spiraling downward…
Theres nothing left for me here
Theres nothing left for me
My exposed bones, my teeth, shatter
As I clench my jaw
I can’t find the words
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3. |
Amygdala
04:35
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I gasp for air
As I breach the surface
I see stars
See stars
With my eyes finally open
To the universe around me
I’ve come to the realization
That this is all for nothing
But what if it’s not
And I’ve been living a lie
That’s a loss I can’t afford
When I die
This is all I leave behind
This is all I leave behind
This is all I leave behind
This is all I choose to leave behind
Nightmares consume me
Eternal black, no direction
An endless spiral
Down into madness
Why does this choose to haunt me
Crashing into wave after wave of self loathing
I can hardly hold my head up
But my shoulders are buckling
As my world
trembles on top of my spine
There’s no turning back
No turning back
This is my world
And you will all suffer with me
As I drag you down
There is no joy here
There is no hope here
There are no trees to rest beneath
The roots all died
The oceans sucked dry
I am all consuming
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4. |
First to Suffocate
02:24
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I have been fighting
For so long to finally admit
My mind has not been in a good place
It’s been lost
I’ve been lost
I quietly move through this life
Avoiding the chaos
But breathing it out
When I finally choose to inhale
The taste of fear begins to suffocate me
I’m already gone
Fuck
Now this is my eternity
Now this is my eternity
This is eternity
I wish that I fought harder
To find a way out of my head
Instead, exude it all in a form of self hatred
Self hatred
That permeates all that I do
And all I’ve become
That permeates all that I do
And all I’ve become
I wish that I fought harder
But it all landed on me
But it all landed on me
This is my end
I am the first to suffocate
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5. |
Observer
02:38
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Born into a world of constant betrayals
Every system fails over and over again
I can’t understand how we all live like this
I don’t believe we need to succumb to this
The leaders from the top to the bottom
All try and instill fear and beg for gratitude
You should be thankful for the chance you’ve been given
Instead of understanding this is all fear mongering
I can’t understand how we all live like this
I don’t believe we need to succumb to this
I’d wait my entire life
For the answers to come to me
But They won’t come until I die
I’m convinced this has all been for nothing
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6. |
Silent Mind
02:02
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7. |
Storm
05:26
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Crossing dimensions
Leaving it all behind
Would be a whole lot easier
If I could get out of my mind
The walls I’ve built and fortified
Trapping consciousness inside
Fearful of change
And of complacency
Fearful of the outside
Terrified to fail myself
And all those that surround me
I will forever walk this thin line
Waiting for an answer that I’ll never find
Collapsing inward like a black hole
We are just the universe trying to understand itself
To put to rest the void of uncertainty
While the abyss reaches out
It’s pulling me
Down
My eyes can’t adjust to the emptiness of
Everything and nothing all at once
I can’t see the forest through the trees
I never could, I refuse to move
An ocean of my past ruptures through the barrier
The insurmountable scale combined with the gravity
Of something meaning nothing that’s grown
A mind of its own
A story I’ve told over and over again, and sung myself to sleep with
I wish I could just wake up
I wish I could just wake up
Forever entwined in a perfect storm of
Inadequacy and doubt that will kill me
If I can’t wake up from this nightmare
I put myself in
I put myself to sleep in this routine
I watch my life slip between my hands
A father, a partner, a broken man
I’m at war with myself
Everyone around me are the casualties
My selfishness dwells just beneath the surface
Something I’ve fostered but could never see
Why hold up a monument
When it was never complete
I wear a mask, a showcase of a fake identity
I dig deep only to find myself
Empty and cold
I am empty and cold
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8. |
Water
05:34
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As the water rises around my feet
I know this is the price I must pay
I’ve left the water running for far too long
Now I have no room to breathe
I choke on the fluid as it suffocates me
And the water fills my lungs
I know that there’s no one coming
To save me now would be pointless
As I stare skyward and long for one last night
Just for us, for you and I
Hold me as I cry
Give me one more day before I collapse
I choke on the fluid as it suffocates me
And the water fills my lungs
I know that there’s no one coming
To save me now would be pointless
Hold me and keep me warm
Hold me as I slip away
As I die
Let me go
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Jolly Jack and the Jazz Flutes Ann Arbor, Michigan
A solo game developer with a passion for music.
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